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Santa’s Boots



Santa's Boots (TV Movie 2018) - IMDb

Vintage: Lifetime, 2018

Lifetime-approved summary: When Holly returns home for Christmas expecting the same as any other year, she’s blindsided to learn her family’s department store is on the brink of foreclosure. To keep the business going, Holly fills in as Santa’s Helper and meets the surprisingly young and handsome Nick, who has been hired to play Santa at the store this year. Their undeniable chemistry and charisma draw in big crowds, until suddenly, Nick disappears. As Christmas day inches closer, Holly scrambles to find Nick with only one clue – his misplaced black boots.

Actual summary: The boots are irrelevant.

Cast member prestige: A decent amount, actually. Our main characters are played by Megan Hilty, who starred in “Smash,” and Noah Mills, who starred in a short-lived NBC drama called “The Brave.” Secondary character Holly’s Grandma is played by legendary actress (and Illinois native) June Squibb!

Action:

Holly, an executive at a Seattle activewear company, is a Busy Working Lady who has accumulated an excess of vacation hours and is forced by her company to take some time off. She decides to head to her hometown to spend the Thanksgiving-through-Christmas stretch hanging out with her family. Where is this hometown? I’m not sure Lifetime ever tells us; we just know that it’s festive and snowy and so let’s call it McYuleville. Holly’s family owns a department store in McYuleville, the kind where at Christmas they bring in a Santa Claus for photos like in “Elf,” and Holly can’t wait to check in on the holiday store festivities.

Also residing in McYuleville? Hot Nick. Hot Nick is an amatuer woodworker and furniture maker, but his day job is at the “Oh Christmas Tree Farm,” a festive operation run by his Uncle Ralph (who used to co-own it with Hot Nick’s late father). Uncle Ralph is putting the pressure on for Hot Nick to take over the family business. Hot Nick is not so sure.

Through an absurd confluence of circumstances in which a) a bunch of department store Santas up and quit, b) Hot Nick decides to take a few days off from the tree farm to “try something new,” and c) Holly is visiting the department store at the same as the Black Friday Elf calls in sick, Hot Nick and Holly find themselves working together at the department store as Santa and Santa’s Elf respectively.

Hot Nick is a natural with kids and Holly spends a lot of time objectifying him. When the crowd of families starts to dwindle, Hot Nick has the brilliant idea of bringing in some of his handmade wooden ornaments for kids to decorate, kind of a “Santa’s Workshop” operation. It’s a hit, and Holly is a giant fan of both Hot Nick’s woodworking skills and his bare arms when he, for some reason, marches around the breakroom wearing a tight white tank top under his red Santa suspenders.

The next day, Hot Nick ups the ante: he brings in his tools and workbench and he and Holly spend an evening transforming the Santa photo booth into a majestic… well, basically the same Santa photo booth, except now with a couple of signs and some decorative ribbon. I don’t know. But whatever, they bond, they flirt, and customers respond to the new decorations by lining up for Santa photos in droves.

Oh no, though! Holly finds out that the department store is in the red, and her dad is planning to sell the business to a “retail executive” who wants to add it to their corporate empire. Holly has the sads, but then Dad is like “you could move back here from Seattle and take over the store,” and so she is like “no, I guess you have to sell, then.”

Hot Nick is going to a “Santa Convention” at a local bar where “all the local Santas” get together for a beer (you’ve been Santa for a full 48 hours but ok), and he invites Holly to join him there. They go, they share a drink, they kiss… and then Hot Nick gets an emergency phone call and rushes off into the night.

It’s Uncle Ralph - he collapsed at work and is in the emergency room. The ER doc diagnoses Uncle Ralph with “hypothermia and a heart palpitation” and prescribes bed rest. But who will run the Christmas tree farm?

Holly shows up at the store the next morning but Hot Nick isn’t there, and there’s a no-nonsense old man playing Santa in his place. Holly is worried and wants to contact Hot Nick. Unfortunately, though, in spite of the fact that Hot Nick was hired for a job that entails close contact with minor children, the only information the store asks for on their employment application is apparently “first name” because no one knows who Hot Nick is or where he comes from. All Holly’s got to go on? Are the black boots Hot Nick dropped off for repair in the store’s shoe department the other day. SANTA’S BOOTS INDEED.

Back at the hospital, Hot Nick and Uncle Ralph have a heart-to-heart, and Hot Nick quits the family business once and for all. He suggests that Uncle Ralph hand over the company to Jenny, a longtime devoted employee, and Uncle Ralph LAUGHS because lady bosses are hilarious but says he’ll consider it. Outside of the hospital, Hot Nick runs into Holly’s Grandma, who (unbeknownst to Holly) invites him to the…

...Christmas Eve Ball. Where Holly has a change of heart, tells her dad she can’t bear to see the family business “lose its heart” to a corporate behemoth, and is announced as the new store CEO. She and her dad have a celebratory dance. Hot Nick surprises her and cuts in, claims his boots like Cinderfella, and they make out on the dance floor. Fin.

Crimes Against Logic: So, let’s talk about the boots. Although the film is ostensibly named for said footwear, only about five minutes of footage is devoted to a completely baffling side-story in which Holly hosts a contest designed to bait Hot Nick into the store. So she invites men to come to the shoe department, try on Hot Nick’s left-behind boots, and see if they fit. I think there’s a prize involved? But, like, how… does she think this is going to go? She’s not traveling door to door, asking every eligible bachelor to stick their feet into the boots to prove their identity. Plus Hot Nick KNOWS where his boots are. If he wants them, he’ll come pick them up (not to mention his paycheck. Which will be made out to “Nick”).

Dialogue that Could Have Used a Rewrite:

Holly: I wonder if there’s anything we can do to bring more kids in to see Santa.
Nick: I have an idea. I’ll just need a table and some things from my truck.

Rating: 7 of 10 Christmas trees for decent acting, Hot Nick’s hotness, a scene that involves drinking something called “special cocoa,” and the notable absence of significant misogyny, Uncle Ralph aside. Warning for whatever the hell that boots thing was all about.

Comments

  1. I am now reconsidering my personal restriction to only Hallmark "movies" as brain candy. Outright oogleing seems refreshing.

    ReplyDelete

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