Vintage: Lifetime 2020
Lifetime approved summary: Ashley returns to her small hometown to care for her uncle who recently broke his ankle. When she learns that he has sold her Mom’s vintage red convertible, a car that holds many wonderful Christmas memories for Ashley, she is disappointed. But with the help of Duncan, her uncle’s attorney, Ashley is reunited with the car and restores it to its former glory, and fills it up with gifts for the community – just as her mother used to do. As she reconnects with happy Christmas memories, she feels torn about her plans to return to the big city and what she may be leaving behind.
Actual summary: A car fueled entirely by the spirit of Christmas can be truly owned by no man.
Cast member prestige: Ashley is played by Tiya Sircar, who is best known (to me, anyway) as Vicky on The Good Place. Her love interest, Duncan, is played by Michael Xavier, an Extremely Hot Canadian whose credits are a bit sparse. According to IMDB, he’ll next be starring as Noel in the film “Welcome to Satan Claus,” which is either a typo or a film I will most definitely be tuning in for.
Action:
The curtain rises on Ashley, our heroine, a Seattle-based antiques dealer and collector who is bidding on Christmas antiques at an auction. Ashley bids on an angel-shaped bell but is outbid by a Very Attractive Man, and is affonted. Does the Very Attractive Man even appreciate that bell’s value? Ashley thinks not!
Later, at home, Ashley gets a phone call: her Uncle Tony has broken his foot. Can Ashley come home through Christmas to help care for him? She can! Ashley drives on snowy highways to her hometown, identified by a sign as “Robbinsville,” where she will stay with Uncle Tony and his partner Charlotte.
Charlotte has prepared a welcome dinner and the three of them sit down to eat, but are interrupted by a knock at the door. It’s Uncle Tony’s estate lawyer, Duncan, who also just happens to be the Very Attractive Man who outbid Ashley at the auction earlier. Duncan has stopped by, at Uncle Tony’s request, to help appraise some things. Ashley is unreasonably rude, like “i mean, fine, if you want to deal with someone who doesn’t appreciate the glory and charm of a Christmas bell shaped like an angel.” Duncan, in response, is kind and Very Attractive.
Ashley’s attitude towards Duncan grows even chillier when Uncle Tony delivers some news: he has sold, with Duncan’s help, Ashley’s late mother’s vintage red convertible. The convertible, which Ashley’s mother used to fill with gifts for the needy each Christmas, had fallen into disrepair and was scooped up by a collector who planned to restore it. Uncle Tony is sorry; he knows how much the car meant to Ashley. Ashley is sad.
The next day, Ashley runs into an old friend downtown. The friend is “in the lighting business” and is helping to decorate the downtown area for the holidays. Ashley complains that the decorations are too modern looking. The friend sighs and rolls her eyes, saying “It’s the new mayor; she’s trying to bring us into the 21st century.” Which… is bad, we are clearly supposed to believe? Question mark? Ashley responds, “But Robbinsville was built in the 19th century! That’s part of its charm!” The friend shrugs. Ashley makes concern face.
Duncan, still Very Attractive and for some reason feeling beholden to Ashley, has tracked down the bill of sale for Ashley’s mom’s convertible and offers to make the two hour drive with Ashley tostalk visit the new owner. You know, for closure. Ashley is game. Duncan picks her up the next morning and off they go.
When they arrive at the new owner’s house, the new owner asks them -- two uninvited strangers who want to fondle his car -- to come in for “hot cinnamon cider.” Ok. Ashley notices the house is filled with sleighs and is like “I thought you were a car collector?” The guy is like “Nope, I’m a sleigh & sled collector.” He had heard rumors about a car that had been used to deliver toys, like Santa’s sleigh, so that’s why he bought the car: to add it to his sleigh collection. Ashley asks to see the car, since she never got to “say goodbye.” But oh no! This guy doesn’t have it anymore! Turns out he could never get the darn thing to start, and then one day someone driving by recognized the car from his childhood, and so Sleigh Collecting Guy gave it to him FOR FREE just because of the look of joy on his face. No paperwork. No name or contact info recorded. Nothing. Seems like an appropriate and reasonable move to me!
Ashley and Duncan leave, and Duncan’s car promptly breaks down with an overheated radiator. Duncan knows nothing about cars but Ashley does, and she declares that they will need to wait for the engine to cool off before adding coolant. Duncan brought sandwiches, though, so it’s ok; they sit on the stoop of a closed corner shop and engage in some deep talk about family. Then Ashley uses a bottle of water to top off the coolant and they head for home.
Back at Uncle Tony’s, Ashey gets out a stack of old ledgers that her mom had used to keep track of families who received gifts from their Christmas deliveries in years past. Ashley and her uncle go through the books, cold-calling families to see if they know who bought the car from Sleigh Collecting Guy. Eventually, someone calls her back with info, and she and Duncan head out to “Griffin’s Tree Farm,” where the current owner of Ashley’s mom’s convertible has been keeping the car under cloth in a shed. Like Sleigh Collecting Guy had said, the current owner had received gifts through Ashley’s mom’s Christmas deliveries as a child, and wanted to try restoring the car to its former glory… but, as with Sleigh Guy, he also couldn’t get the car to work.
Ashley gazes upon the car adoringly. Which -- because apparently this is how we do things now -- causes the car owner to hand the car over to her. FOR FREE. AGAIN. “I’m just happy she’s back with her rightful owner,” he says. Ashley and Duncan have the car towed back home.
Excuse me, all. I’m going to go take a short break to go stare joyfully at some Subaru Foresters.
Duncan and Ashley get to work cleaning the convertible while making flirty faces at each other. A mechanic comes out to look at the car and can’t figure out why it won’t run. The car does need a new tailpipe, so Duncan takes Ashley “down to the Christmas market” to see a metalworker about getting a vintage-looking tailpipe made. The metalworker knows about the car’s charitable past and offers to do the job [say it with me now] for free. Ashley says, “The car is bringing out this incredible Christmas spirit in everyone.” Indeed, Ashley.
Duncan helps Ashley work on installing the tailpipe, but sadly this doesn’t seem to fix the problem; the car still won’t start when Ashley turns the key. But wait: Duncan hops in and sits shotgun and, suddenly, the engine roars to life. Delighted, Ashley and Duncan go for a drive. Duncan reveals that his family used to be recipients of the charity that Ashley’s mom ran with the convertible; hence, his investment in the project.
Did I mention that somewhere in there, Duncan and Ashley get the bright idea to load up a truck full of old-fashioned Christmas trees from Griffin’s Tree Farm and install them downtown in place of the 21st-century “modern” decorations, new mayor be damned? Well they did, and apparently it was a hit, as the town has started up some kind of petition to bring back the old-school Christmas decorations full scale. Old good! New BAD! Ashley is inspired: if the town is invested in restoring old traditions, maybe it’s time to try and start up her mom’s Christmas gift drive again. Duncan offers to help.
Ashley and Duncan decide to have an auction to raise money for the Christmas gift drive, and Ashley has a colleague mail her her collection of Christmas antiques to sell at the auction. They prep for the event, practice their auctioneer skills, and engage in meaningful conversation about what happens “after Christmas.” Ashley muses that she’ll need to get back to her life in Seattle, and after the words leave her mouth the convertible’s headlights suddenly turn themselves on and the radio starts playing a Christmas carol. No big deal. Nothing to see here. “This car has a mind of its own,” Ashley says.
It’s Auction Day, where the townspeople gather to overspend on what appears to be a collection of items from my parents’ basement. The final item up for bid is a Christmas clock from the year Robbinsville was founded. A bidding war begins, and ends with the mayor standing up in the back row and announcing “I’ll bid whatever is required to make the Christmas drive complete.” You guys! She discovered the spirit of Christmas!
Fast forward to Christmas Day. Ashley, Uncle Tony, and Charlotte load up the convertible with gifts. Ashley is sad that Duncan isn’t there. She tries to start the car but it won’t start. The lights flash and the music starts playing, though. Ashley says, “I think I know what’s wrong. The car is missing something, and I know what it is.” She runs off...
… straight to Duncan’s office. Duncan’s like “aren’t you supposed to be delivering gifts?” Ashley says, “The car won’t start. Something’s missing - it’s not a tailpipe or an electrical issue - it’s you. The car won’t go without you and neither will I.” Duncan, 100% on board with the idea that a car requires his physical presence in order to function, heads out with Ashley to go back to the convertible, which immediately starts as soon as they both are in it.
And so Ashley and Duncan head downtown in the sentient convertible, where they hand out presents to kids and adults alike - all of them already wrapped, none of them identified or marked in any way. Enjoy those Minecraft action figures, Grams. After all the gifts are distributed, Duncan pulls the car over and gives Ashley her own Christmas present: it’s the angel-shaped bell they both bid on at the beginning of the movie. Ashley is touched, and the sentient car responds by spontaneously blasting Christmas music from its radio. This is a normal thing to happen, the two of them seem to agree, and so they get out of the sentient car and dance to its music in the street.
Rating: 8 of 10 Christmas antiques for two POC main characters and a moderately delightful plot. Warning for the Rise of the Machines.
Actual summary: A car fueled entirely by the spirit of Christmas can be truly owned by no man.
Cast member prestige: Ashley is played by Tiya Sircar, who is best known (to me, anyway) as Vicky on The Good Place. Her love interest, Duncan, is played by Michael Xavier, an Extremely Hot Canadian whose credits are a bit sparse. According to IMDB, he’ll next be starring as Noel in the film “Welcome to Satan Claus,” which is either a typo or a film I will most definitely be tuning in for.
Action:
The curtain rises on Ashley, our heroine, a Seattle-based antiques dealer and collector who is bidding on Christmas antiques at an auction. Ashley bids on an angel-shaped bell but is outbid by a Very Attractive Man, and is affonted. Does the Very Attractive Man even appreciate that bell’s value? Ashley thinks not!
Later, at home, Ashley gets a phone call: her Uncle Tony has broken his foot. Can Ashley come home through Christmas to help care for him? She can! Ashley drives on snowy highways to her hometown, identified by a sign as “Robbinsville,” where she will stay with Uncle Tony and his partner Charlotte.
Charlotte has prepared a welcome dinner and the three of them sit down to eat, but are interrupted by a knock at the door. It’s Uncle Tony’s estate lawyer, Duncan, who also just happens to be the Very Attractive Man who outbid Ashley at the auction earlier. Duncan has stopped by, at Uncle Tony’s request, to help appraise some things. Ashley is unreasonably rude, like “i mean, fine, if you want to deal with someone who doesn’t appreciate the glory and charm of a Christmas bell shaped like an angel.” Duncan, in response, is kind and Very Attractive.
Ashley’s attitude towards Duncan grows even chillier when Uncle Tony delivers some news: he has sold, with Duncan’s help, Ashley’s late mother’s vintage red convertible. The convertible, which Ashley’s mother used to fill with gifts for the needy each Christmas, had fallen into disrepair and was scooped up by a collector who planned to restore it. Uncle Tony is sorry; he knows how much the car meant to Ashley. Ashley is sad.
The next day, Ashley runs into an old friend downtown. The friend is “in the lighting business” and is helping to decorate the downtown area for the holidays. Ashley complains that the decorations are too modern looking. The friend sighs and rolls her eyes, saying “It’s the new mayor; she’s trying to bring us into the 21st century.” Which… is bad, we are clearly supposed to believe? Question mark? Ashley responds, “But Robbinsville was built in the 19th century! That’s part of its charm!” The friend shrugs. Ashley makes concern face.
Duncan, still Very Attractive and for some reason feeling beholden to Ashley, has tracked down the bill of sale for Ashley’s mom’s convertible and offers to make the two hour drive with Ashley to
When they arrive at the new owner’s house, the new owner asks them -- two uninvited strangers who want to fondle his car -- to come in for “hot cinnamon cider.” Ok. Ashley notices the house is filled with sleighs and is like “I thought you were a car collector?” The guy is like “Nope, I’m a sleigh & sled collector.” He had heard rumors about a car that had been used to deliver toys, like Santa’s sleigh, so that’s why he bought the car: to add it to his sleigh collection. Ashley asks to see the car, since she never got to “say goodbye.” But oh no! This guy doesn’t have it anymore! Turns out he could never get the darn thing to start, and then one day someone driving by recognized the car from his childhood, and so Sleigh Collecting Guy gave it to him FOR FREE just because of the look of joy on his face. No paperwork. No name or contact info recorded. Nothing. Seems like an appropriate and reasonable move to me!
Ashley and Duncan leave, and Duncan’s car promptly breaks down with an overheated radiator. Duncan knows nothing about cars but Ashley does, and she declares that they will need to wait for the engine to cool off before adding coolant. Duncan brought sandwiches, though, so it’s ok; they sit on the stoop of a closed corner shop and engage in some deep talk about family. Then Ashley uses a bottle of water to top off the coolant and they head for home.
Back at Uncle Tony’s, Ashey gets out a stack of old ledgers that her mom had used to keep track of families who received gifts from their Christmas deliveries in years past. Ashley and her uncle go through the books, cold-calling families to see if they know who bought the car from Sleigh Collecting Guy. Eventually, someone calls her back with info, and she and Duncan head out to “Griffin’s Tree Farm,” where the current owner of Ashley’s mom’s convertible has been keeping the car under cloth in a shed. Like Sleigh Collecting Guy had said, the current owner had received gifts through Ashley’s mom’s Christmas deliveries as a child, and wanted to try restoring the car to its former glory… but, as with Sleigh Guy, he also couldn’t get the car to work.
Ashley gazes upon the car adoringly. Which -- because apparently this is how we do things now -- causes the car owner to hand the car over to her. FOR FREE. AGAIN. “I’m just happy she’s back with her rightful owner,” he says. Ashley and Duncan have the car towed back home.
Excuse me, all. I’m going to go take a short break to go stare joyfully at some Subaru Foresters.
Duncan and Ashley get to work cleaning the convertible while making flirty faces at each other. A mechanic comes out to look at the car and can’t figure out why it won’t run. The car does need a new tailpipe, so Duncan takes Ashley “down to the Christmas market” to see a metalworker about getting a vintage-looking tailpipe made. The metalworker knows about the car’s charitable past and offers to do the job [say it with me now] for free. Ashley says, “The car is bringing out this incredible Christmas spirit in everyone.” Indeed, Ashley.
Duncan helps Ashley work on installing the tailpipe, but sadly this doesn’t seem to fix the problem; the car still won’t start when Ashley turns the key. But wait: Duncan hops in and sits shotgun and, suddenly, the engine roars to life. Delighted, Ashley and Duncan go for a drive. Duncan reveals that his family used to be recipients of the charity that Ashley’s mom ran with the convertible; hence, his investment in the project.
Did I mention that somewhere in there, Duncan and Ashley get the bright idea to load up a truck full of old-fashioned Christmas trees from Griffin’s Tree Farm and install them downtown in place of the 21st-century “modern” decorations, new mayor be damned? Well they did, and apparently it was a hit, as the town has started up some kind of petition to bring back the old-school Christmas decorations full scale. Old good! New BAD! Ashley is inspired: if the town is invested in restoring old traditions, maybe it’s time to try and start up her mom’s Christmas gift drive again. Duncan offers to help.
Ashley and Duncan decide to have an auction to raise money for the Christmas gift drive, and Ashley has a colleague mail her her collection of Christmas antiques to sell at the auction. They prep for the event, practice their auctioneer skills, and engage in meaningful conversation about what happens “after Christmas.” Ashley muses that she’ll need to get back to her life in Seattle, and after the words leave her mouth the convertible’s headlights suddenly turn themselves on and the radio starts playing a Christmas carol. No big deal. Nothing to see here. “This car has a mind of its own,” Ashley says.
It’s Auction Day, where the townspeople gather to overspend on what appears to be a collection of items from my parents’ basement. The final item up for bid is a Christmas clock from the year Robbinsville was founded. A bidding war begins, and ends with the mayor standing up in the back row and announcing “I’ll bid whatever is required to make the Christmas drive complete.” You guys! She discovered the spirit of Christmas!
Fast forward to Christmas Day. Ashley, Uncle Tony, and Charlotte load up the convertible with gifts. Ashley is sad that Duncan isn’t there. She tries to start the car but it won’t start. The lights flash and the music starts playing, though. Ashley says, “I think I know what’s wrong. The car is missing something, and I know what it is.” She runs off...
… straight to Duncan’s office. Duncan’s like “aren’t you supposed to be delivering gifts?” Ashley says, “The car won’t start. Something’s missing - it’s not a tailpipe or an electrical issue - it’s you. The car won’t go without you and neither will I.” Duncan, 100% on board with the idea that a car requires his physical presence in order to function, heads out with Ashley to go back to the convertible, which immediately starts as soon as they both are in it.
And so Ashley and Duncan head downtown in the sentient convertible, where they hand out presents to kids and adults alike - all of them already wrapped, none of them identified or marked in any way. Enjoy those Minecraft action figures, Grams. After all the gifts are distributed, Duncan pulls the car over and gives Ashley her own Christmas present: it’s the angel-shaped bell they both bid on at the beginning of the movie. Ashley is touched, and the sentient car responds by spontaneously blasting Christmas music from its radio. This is a normal thing to happen, the two of them seem to agree, and so they get out of the sentient car and dance to its music in the street.
Rating: 8 of 10 Christmas antiques for two POC main characters and a moderately delightful plot. Warning for the Rise of the Machines.
Comments
Post a Comment