Vintage: Lifetime, 2020
Lifetime-approved summary: From executive producer Tiffany Haddish, Christmas Unwrapped follows Charity, an ambitious reporter, who learns the true meaning of Christmas when she investigates Erik Gallagher, a beloved member of the town who insists all the gifts he provides are from none-other than Santa himself.
Actual summary, according to my 10-year-old: A woman falls in love with a man who is dumb.
Cast member prestige: You had me at “executive producer Tiffany Haddish!” Our heroine is played by Amber Stevens West, an Actual Living Black Woman, who was on Greek and a bunch of other assorted TV shows. Her love interest is played by Marco Grazzini, of Kim’s Convenience fame. The role of Charity’s mean boss Janet is played, for some reason, by Cheryl Ladd.
Action:
Charity, a New York City blogger and newbie reporter for the “Times Square Journal,” is assigned her First Big Featured Story: an expose on Eric Gallagher, local do-gooder and founder of the NSB (Never Stop Believing) Foundation. (Their motto: “Taking things just a little bit further than Journey since 2020”) Eric’s foundation raises money year-round to put on an annual 12 Days of Christmas extravaganza, featuring a different free Christmas event each day and culminating in a massive gift giveaway in Central Park on Christmas morning. He’s known locally as “Santa’s #1 Helper” because of the thousands of dollars’ worth of presents he distributes to “people who believe.”
Charity’s mean boss Janet isn’t about that “believing” nonsense. She wants Charity to uncover the real story: who’s funding Eric’s foundation? Where does he get all the gifts? Previously, when asked by reporters, all Eric would say is, “All of it comes from Santa.” If Charity can get to the bottom of things, her story will run on Christmas Eve. Eric has agreed to participate, but only if the reporter assigned to the story agrees to attend and participate in each of his 12 Days of Christmas events. Charity’s game, eager to prove herself.
Eric’s first event is an ice-skating day; he’s rented out a huge rink, with free skates and hot cocoa all day for anyone who shows up. Charity can barely skate, so she wobbles and inches her way over to Eric and they sit down on a frosty bench to start the interview. Charity gets some basic background info on the NSB Foundation, then goes in for the [tiniest] kill, asking “What’s in it for you?” Eric’s response? “I just want everyone to believe.” He hands Charity one of the little slips of paper he gives out to all the kids at his events, which he calls a “golden Christmas wish.” If you write your wish on the paper, he explains, and then throw it into a fire, Santa will grant your wish.
Eric’s next event is a free Christmas Movie marathon at a local movie theater, and Charity’s there, still looking for the scoop. In the back of the auditorium, Charity asks Eric intrusive questions about his past, learning that he grew up in foster care and doesn’t know his birth parents. Their chat is interrupted by the buzzing of Eric’s phone, and he steps away to take the call. As he leaves, a paper he was holding fluters to the ground. Charity picks it up and reads it. [My 10-year-old: “RUDE.”] It’s a letter addressed to Eric that says, in part: “My men will deliver on time and be completely invisible. Thank you for believing, my boy. Love, Kris”
Charity snaps a photo of the letter on her phone, and takes it to show Mean Boss Janet the next day… except, the screen just shows a photo of a blank piece of paper. What the what, Charity?
Next event? Christmas ornament making! Charity’s not getting all the info she needs from these events, so she asks Eric if he would meet up with her for dinner later that evening. They meet up for an outdoor winter picnic (NOPE), to which Eric brings a tupperware container of macaroni and cheese with bacon (OK, SURE). Charity asks Eric again: where does all the money come from? He says he fundraises all year, and relies on private donors. Charity is all “But the gifts on Christmas Day?” At which point, the following exchange transpires:
Eric: Oh, that’s all Kris. He gets the gifts to the city, and I get them to the kids.
Charity: What’s Kris’ last name?
Eric: Kringle.
For some reason, that is not the end of the movie.
We flash forward through a few more NSB-sponsored events, including a Christmas tree giveaway where Eric reunites a military family basically just to show off. Afterwards, Eric and Charity go for a walk together and bond, almost kissing before Charity’s sense of professional ethics stops her. Eric invites Charity to be his plus-one for the mayor’s Christmas Eve gala, and she accepts.
Next thing we know, it’s three days before Christmas and Charity has turned in a rough draft of her piece on Eric and the NSB Foundation. Mean Boss Janet HATES it. “Where’s the story I asked for?” she barks. “Millions of dollars in gifts are given out every year and there’s no paperwork!”
Charity, having taken several sizeable swigs of Eric’s Kool-Aid, responds “But there’s no one buying or delivering the gifts! They just appear miraculously!” She says she used to be skeptical too, but she’s seen and felt things she can’t describe. Mean Boss Janet is like FALSE. She orders Charity to uncover some facts and rewrite the article.
Later, after Charity spends the afternoon falling further under the NSB spell at Eric’s Christmas scavenger hunt event, she gets a phone call from her roommate Tish, a researcher who has done some digging into Eric’s past to help with the article. Notably, Tish has uncovered the truth about Eric’s birth parents. “Girl,” she shouts, “they’re millionaires!” Turns out that Eric’s birth parents were teenagers when they had him, gave him up for adoption, and then subsequently became successful app developers as adults. Now they’re rich!
Tish and Charity speculate: could it be that Eric’s birth parents have been secretly funding the NSB Foundation all along? Charity says she doesn’t have the heart to tell him… plus, she promised Eric that she wouldn’t mention anything about his personal life in her article. Tish is impressed: “You’re choosing integrity over a headline!”
Mean Boss Janet is not choosing integrity over a headline.
When Charity arrives at work the next day, Mean Boss Janet calls her into her office and yells, “Where are the changes I asked for?” Somehow Mean Boss Janet got wise to the dirt Tish dug up, and she wants to share it. “Our readers love a scandal,” she cackles. Charity, pronouncing that she would rather report on something truthful than worry about what will sell, quits on the spot. On her way out the door, she turns and asks Mean Boss Janet, with the semi-condescending tone of someone who thinks she’s making a really excellent point, “When you were little, didn’t you ever believe in the magic of Christmas?”
Mean Boss Janet just stares back blankly. Charity sighs, hands Janet one of Eric’s little golden wish papers, and says: “Eric wanted you to have this. Merry Christmas.” She storms out dramatically. Mean Boss Janet rolls her eyes and promptly starts typing up her scandalous story.
It’s time for the Christmas Eve ball! Eric and Charity slow dance, and Eric smarms that since Charity’s no longer working on the article, it’s ok for him to ask her out on a date. Charity’s like, um, ok, great, but I kind of have to tell you something first..but before she can reveal the truth about her snooping, she’s interrupted by a call on Eric’s cell. Oh no! The Times Square Journal article just went live, and it is… not good. Eric pulls up the article on his phone; Mean Boss Janet’s rewritten the piece with the premise that Eric’s birth parents are buying all the gifts and funnelling them through the city for a tax break. To make matters worse, she’s attached Charity’s byline to the article!
Charity tries to explain, but Eric’s not hearing it. He leaves, and Charity goes outside and weeps for awhile. Eventually she comes upon a band of Christmas carollers who are singing around a small fire. Charity takes out the little golden wish paper she’s been carrying around in her pocket, writes “forgiveness” on it, and tosses it into the flame.
Charity goes home and writes a blog entry, entitled “12 Days with Eric Gallagher: The True Story,” which ends with the following passage: “Now I know in my heart that Santa is real, all you have to do is believe, really believe, and the spirit of Chritsmas will do the rest.” She publishes the entry, goes to bed, and is awakened by a notification on her phone: “Your blog spot has reached 20K views.” I DIE.
We close with the Christmas morning gift giveaway in the park. Charity finds Eric, who tells her that he read, and liked, her blog. Charity apologizes again and tells Eric that she realizes her snooping was all for naught. “I believe,” she insists. Then, her phone rings and, I wish I were kidding you but I am not, on the line is a man who identifies himself as “Mike from The Times.” Mike from The Times is like, hey, I work for the Paper of Record but I totally read your blog entry, which you published approximately ten hours ago, about the spirit of Christmas, and because of said blog entry I would like to offer you a position at the New York Times.
Charity hangs up. Eric asks “What could possibly make this Christmas any better?” Charity says: “I can think of something” and kisses him.
Rating: 5 of 10 Christmas wishes for 2 POC characters who have names and appear in scenes together. Warning for the final nail in journalism’s coffin.
Lifetime-approved summary: From executive producer Tiffany Haddish, Christmas Unwrapped follows Charity, an ambitious reporter, who learns the true meaning of Christmas when she investigates Erik Gallagher, a beloved member of the town who insists all the gifts he provides are from none-other than Santa himself.
Actual summary, according to my 10-year-old: A woman falls in love with a man who is dumb.
Cast member prestige: You had me at “executive producer Tiffany Haddish!” Our heroine is played by Amber Stevens West, an Actual Living Black Woman, who was on Greek and a bunch of other assorted TV shows. Her love interest is played by Marco Grazzini, of Kim’s Convenience fame. The role of Charity’s mean boss Janet is played, for some reason, by Cheryl Ladd.
Action:
Charity, a New York City blogger and newbie reporter for the “Times Square Journal,” is assigned her First Big Featured Story: an expose on Eric Gallagher, local do-gooder and founder of the NSB (Never Stop Believing) Foundation. (Their motto: “Taking things just a little bit further than Journey since 2020”) Eric’s foundation raises money year-round to put on an annual 12 Days of Christmas extravaganza, featuring a different free Christmas event each day and culminating in a massive gift giveaway in Central Park on Christmas morning. He’s known locally as “Santa’s #1 Helper” because of the thousands of dollars’ worth of presents he distributes to “people who believe.”
Charity’s mean boss Janet isn’t about that “believing” nonsense. She wants Charity to uncover the real story: who’s funding Eric’s foundation? Where does he get all the gifts? Previously, when asked by reporters, all Eric would say is, “All of it comes from Santa.” If Charity can get to the bottom of things, her story will run on Christmas Eve. Eric has agreed to participate, but only if the reporter assigned to the story agrees to attend and participate in each of his 12 Days of Christmas events. Charity’s game, eager to prove herself.
Eric’s first event is an ice-skating day; he’s rented out a huge rink, with free skates and hot cocoa all day for anyone who shows up. Charity can barely skate, so she wobbles and inches her way over to Eric and they sit down on a frosty bench to start the interview. Charity gets some basic background info on the NSB Foundation, then goes in for the [tiniest] kill, asking “What’s in it for you?” Eric’s response? “I just want everyone to believe.” He hands Charity one of the little slips of paper he gives out to all the kids at his events, which he calls a “golden Christmas wish.” If you write your wish on the paper, he explains, and then throw it into a fire, Santa will grant your wish.
Eric’s next event is a free Christmas Movie marathon at a local movie theater, and Charity’s there, still looking for the scoop. In the back of the auditorium, Charity asks Eric intrusive questions about his past, learning that he grew up in foster care and doesn’t know his birth parents. Their chat is interrupted by the buzzing of Eric’s phone, and he steps away to take the call. As he leaves, a paper he was holding fluters to the ground. Charity picks it up and reads it. [My 10-year-old: “RUDE.”] It’s a letter addressed to Eric that says, in part: “My men will deliver on time and be completely invisible. Thank you for believing, my boy. Love, Kris”
Charity snaps a photo of the letter on her phone, and takes it to show Mean Boss Janet the next day… except, the screen just shows a photo of a blank piece of paper. What the what, Charity?
Next event? Christmas ornament making! Charity’s not getting all the info she needs from these events, so she asks Eric if he would meet up with her for dinner later that evening. They meet up for an outdoor winter picnic (NOPE), to which Eric brings a tupperware container of macaroni and cheese with bacon (OK, SURE). Charity asks Eric again: where does all the money come from? He says he fundraises all year, and relies on private donors. Charity is all “But the gifts on Christmas Day?” At which point, the following exchange transpires:
Eric: Oh, that’s all Kris. He gets the gifts to the city, and I get them to the kids.
Charity: What’s Kris’ last name?
Eric: Kringle.
For some reason, that is not the end of the movie.
We flash forward through a few more NSB-sponsored events, including a Christmas tree giveaway where Eric reunites a military family basically just to show off. Afterwards, Eric and Charity go for a walk together and bond, almost kissing before Charity’s sense of professional ethics stops her. Eric invites Charity to be his plus-one for the mayor’s Christmas Eve gala, and she accepts.
Next thing we know, it’s three days before Christmas and Charity has turned in a rough draft of her piece on Eric and the NSB Foundation. Mean Boss Janet HATES it. “Where’s the story I asked for?” she barks. “Millions of dollars in gifts are given out every year and there’s no paperwork!”
Charity, having taken several sizeable swigs of Eric’s Kool-Aid, responds “But there’s no one buying or delivering the gifts! They just appear miraculously!” She says she used to be skeptical too, but she’s seen and felt things she can’t describe. Mean Boss Janet is like FALSE. She orders Charity to uncover some facts and rewrite the article.
Later, after Charity spends the afternoon falling further under the NSB spell at Eric’s Christmas scavenger hunt event, she gets a phone call from her roommate Tish, a researcher who has done some digging into Eric’s past to help with the article. Notably, Tish has uncovered the truth about Eric’s birth parents. “Girl,” she shouts, “they’re millionaires!” Turns out that Eric’s birth parents were teenagers when they had him, gave him up for adoption, and then subsequently became successful app developers as adults. Now they’re rich!
Tish and Charity speculate: could it be that Eric’s birth parents have been secretly funding the NSB Foundation all along? Charity says she doesn’t have the heart to tell him… plus, she promised Eric that she wouldn’t mention anything about his personal life in her article. Tish is impressed: “You’re choosing integrity over a headline!”
Mean Boss Janet is not choosing integrity over a headline.
When Charity arrives at work the next day, Mean Boss Janet calls her into her office and yells, “Where are the changes I asked for?” Somehow Mean Boss Janet got wise to the dirt Tish dug up, and she wants to share it. “Our readers love a scandal,” she cackles. Charity, pronouncing that she would rather report on something truthful than worry about what will sell, quits on the spot. On her way out the door, she turns and asks Mean Boss Janet, with the semi-condescending tone of someone who thinks she’s making a really excellent point, “When you were little, didn’t you ever believe in the magic of Christmas?”
Mean Boss Janet just stares back blankly. Charity sighs, hands Janet one of Eric’s little golden wish papers, and says: “Eric wanted you to have this. Merry Christmas.” She storms out dramatically. Mean Boss Janet rolls her eyes and promptly starts typing up her scandalous story.
It’s time for the Christmas Eve ball! Eric and Charity slow dance, and Eric smarms that since Charity’s no longer working on the article, it’s ok for him to ask her out on a date. Charity’s like, um, ok, great, but I kind of have to tell you something first..but before she can reveal the truth about her snooping, she’s interrupted by a call on Eric’s cell. Oh no! The Times Square Journal article just went live, and it is… not good. Eric pulls up the article on his phone; Mean Boss Janet’s rewritten the piece with the premise that Eric’s birth parents are buying all the gifts and funnelling them through the city for a tax break. To make matters worse, she’s attached Charity’s byline to the article!
Charity tries to explain, but Eric’s not hearing it. He leaves, and Charity goes outside and weeps for awhile. Eventually she comes upon a band of Christmas carollers who are singing around a small fire. Charity takes out the little golden wish paper she’s been carrying around in her pocket, writes “forgiveness” on it, and tosses it into the flame.
Charity goes home and writes a blog entry, entitled “12 Days with Eric Gallagher: The True Story,” which ends with the following passage: “Now I know in my heart that Santa is real, all you have to do is believe, really believe, and the spirit of Chritsmas will do the rest.” She publishes the entry, goes to bed, and is awakened by a notification on her phone: “Your blog spot has reached 20K views.” I DIE.
We close with the Christmas morning gift giveaway in the park. Charity finds Eric, who tells her that he read, and liked, her blog. Charity apologizes again and tells Eric that she realizes her snooping was all for naught. “I believe,” she insists. Then, her phone rings and, I wish I were kidding you but I am not, on the line is a man who identifies himself as “Mike from The Times.” Mike from The Times is like, hey, I work for the Paper of Record but I totally read your blog entry, which you published approximately ten hours ago, about the spirit of Christmas, and because of said blog entry I would like to offer you a position at the New York Times.
Charity hangs up. Eric asks “What could possibly make this Christmas any better?” Charity says: “I can think of something” and kisses him.
Rating: 5 of 10 Christmas wishes for 2 POC characters who have names and appear in scenes together. Warning for the final nail in journalism’s coffin.
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