Vintage: Lifetime 2020
Lifetime-approved summary: David Morales, an Arizona high school principal and single dad, has lost the holiday spirit after also losing his wife a few years ago during the Christmas season. Now, David will do anything to avoid Christmas so he moonlights as a delivery driver during the holidays. But this year David’s 14-year-old daughter, Noel, and his live-in sister, Marissa, are determined to bring the yuletide spirit back to the family and, with a little luck, also help David find love again via online dating. So when Sophie, a witty musician and customer on David’s delivery route, swipes right on him, something magical happens between them.
Actual summary: This is not how music works.
Cast member prestige:
Action:
We open with some basic scene-setting. David Morales, our hero, is busily principalling through the halls of the Arizona high school over which he presides. He pops into the music room, where the school’s bell choir (???) is rehearsing for their upcoming performance at the town’s annual Frosty Fest. David’s daughter Noel plays in the choir and is nervous that they won’t be prepared; the school is too broke to afford a “real music teacher” and the choir is directed by the baseball coach.
Raise your hand if you’ve ever seen a high school with a BELL CHOIR. No -- not you, Catholics, put your hands down.
Across town, our other main character, Sophie, is in town for the holidays to visit her dad. Sophie’s mom passed away a year ago and now her dad wants to sell a bunch of her late mom’s antique Christmas toys online. Sophie is there to help her dad type www.ebay.com.
Why do Sophie and David’s worlds end up colliding? Because David moonlights as a driver for Southwest Secure Delivery, working a second job every year during the holidays to save up money for Noel’s college fund. Sophie schedules a pickup of some packages containing her late mom’s toys to sell, and David is the lucky delivery guy who shows up to get them. When Sophie opens the door, David flirts, trying out a little AC Slater “mama” charm, but Sophie is all business and nopes him on his way.
Back at home, David’s sister Marissa lectures him about how his insistence on working a second job at Christmas means that he is unavailable for his daughter when she needs him most. “When are you going to tell Noel the real reason you take this delivery job?” she asks. “You can’t handle all the sadness you feel during the holidays.” Turns out David’s wife used to love Christmas, and ever since she died years ago, David has been positively grinchy each December.
Noel walks in on this conversation and is upset. Noel and David bond over memories of Noel’s mom, and then Noel encourages her dad to put himself out there and start living again. David is reluctant but eventually agrees, causing Noel to be like “great, cause I basically already put you on Tinder.”
The next day, David picks up more packages from Sophie’s house and she is suddenly more receptive to his charms for some reason, fully checks out his ass as he loads up his truck, and compliments him on his uniform. I don’t know.
Over at the high school, it’s bell choir practice again. Noel, bizarrely and randomly, lobbies their baseball coach/director to let them turn their bell choir into an acapella singing ensemble, because those two things are 100% compatible and this would be a natural and seamless transition for a group of public high school kids without an actual school music program to make. Noel says that “bell choir is great and all,” but an acapella group is what they really need in order to impress at the Frosty Fest.
So. The baseball coach gets some Joy to the World sheet music and now the bell choir is Pentatonix.
Back at home, Noel and Aunt Marissa work on David’s online dating profile. They fret over his profile picture and ultimately choose one in which David is wearing a navy shirt. Noel coos: “He looks good in the navy shirt. Someday when I have a boyfriend, I hope he wears a nice navy shirt like this.” WHAT? Ew. Aunt Marissa looks and nods admiringly, and together they chuckle over the hotness of their blood relative.
David comes home and finds his daughter and sister screaming in celebration. Why? Because David got a match on the dating app. They prep him for a lunch date with his match (“Wear the navy shirt - it makes you glow,” says Marissa, I kid you not) but refuse to show him a photo of the woman he’s meeting.
David waits at the bar for his date to show up, and in walks Sophie! David sees her and is like “I can’t talk; I have a date.” And Sophie’s like “I’m your date. I swiped right on my delivery guy.” She orders them 2 coffees and they sit.
David admits to Sophie that this is his first date and that his daughter signed him up for the app. Sophie says that she’s only using the app here as a dry run before she goes back home to her real life in Phoenix, where she works as a professional French horn player in the Phoenix Philharmonic. They both agree that these circumstances somehow take the pressure off of the situation. They chat and get to know each other, eventually agreeing to “more practice dates” in the future.
It’s bell choir/acapella ensemble practice again, obviously, and David struts in mid-practice to announce a surprise: his new friend Sophie, the professional musician, will lead the bell choir/acapella ensemble while she’s in town. I mean, since literally all musical instruments, styles, and genres are completely interchangeable, why the hell not? David and Sophie work out a concept for the Frosty Fest performance, all “Ok, hear me out: what if they start on bells and then, mid-song, when no one’s expecting it, they just start singing and dancing?” Everyone thinks this is a solid and reasonable plan.
David and Sophie go on another “practice date,” this time to a Mexican restaurant. They have a good time, so much so that David starts to go in for a kiss. Sophie is like “what are you doing - I don't even live here!” They agree there’s a spark between them but that there’s no way it could work. They toast “to practice.”
David then proceeds to go on a string of madcap dates: first, with Melissa Joan Hart, who spills a velvet bag full of crystals onto the bar and asks him if he’s “spiritual,” and then with a ski instructor who does exercises in the middle of the restaurant. You know, as lady athletes always do.
Meanwhile, Noel runs into Sophie at an ice cream shop and the two of them sit and chat. Sophie asks Noel, “Are you ok with your dad dating?” Noel says that no one can replace her mom, but her dad deserves someone to love him as much as her mom did. The two of them bond over lost moms. Noel tells Sophie, “I know my dad likes you, because his dates with you are the only ones he doesn’t tell me about.” Sophie blushes.
Later, David invites Sophie to come over to his house for dinner. Mid-bell choir/acapella ensemble practice. Via a post-it note that he slaps onto the piano WHILE SOPHIE IS PLAYING IT TO ACCOMPANY A ROOM FULL OF STUDENTS INCLUDING HIS DAUGHTER. Inappropriate, AC Slater! But anyway, she comes over that night and helps the family make tamales. David takes Sophie’s hand across the table and says he’s glad she came. They make eyes at each other.
The next day, David goes on one more date via the app, but it’s a bust - and what’s worse, Sophie walks into the restaurant and sees him while he’s on it. When David shows up in delivery garb at Sophie’s house later, she’s cold to him, but he explains that the date she saw him on was “his last date.” He says he’s grown fond of their practice dates. Sophie tells him that there’s no point; her mom’s stuff has all sold and she will be leaving next week. David, stressing, asks her to meet him for one last coffee and a walk after his last delivery in 20 minutes.
They meet up in a park and walk. “I can’t help how I feel when I’m with you,” David says to Sophie. She admits she feels the same, even though she’s leaving. He starts to kiss her but is interrupted by… snow? People: you are allowed to kiss in the presence of precipitation. The two of them gaze up like children as snowflakes fall. But then David realizes it’s 6:00 pm and suddenly bolts, realizing he was supposed to go pick up the bell choir gloves from the dry cleaners after his last delivery. Sophie is left standing there, looking stunned.
David gets to the dry cleaners but they are closed. Oops. Cut to Frosty Fest. It’s 6:30 and the bell choir is in their formal blue robes, waiting on David to show up with their gloves, which they are required to wear in order to handle their antique bells.
I’m sorry, wait, so David and Sophie went for a makeout walk less than an hour before the concert that a) she is supposed to direct and b) his daughter stars in? That’s thirsty, even for lovelorn Lifetimers.
Anyway, David shows up like a chump, late, bearing yellow plastic dishwashing gloves, but they are too big and won’t work. Noel is sad. David apologizes for letting her down, but Noel says it’s ok. “You’re my dad; you can’t let me down.” Thousands of therapy-goers say otherwise, but ok.
Hey, guess what, though? Sophie’s here, and she somehow owns a box full of white gloves! She looks meaningfully at David and says, “If you let someone help you once in awhile you wouldn’t have to do everything all by yourself.”
Concert time! Noel and her group come onstage in their blue robes. The baseball coach (is he the only person on staff?) introduces the performance: “Please enjoy Pine Star’s rendition of Feliz Navidad, dedicated to Noel’s Feliz NaviDAD.” The students start out by playing their bells with the stage lights turned down low, but after a few lines the lights come up, the students rip off their ropes, and now we’re in Pitch Perfect. Noel is in sequins. Another student is in tight leather leggings. They perform a suggestively choreographed dance while singing a radio-quality acapella arrangement, obviously the brainchild of the combined expertise of a French horn player and a high school baseball coach.
They receive a standing ovation. Noel then pulls her dad, Sophie, and Aunt Marissa out from the wings, brings them on stage, and invites them -- and, indeed, the entire audience -- to join them in a slow jam singalong of, what else, Feliz Navidad. Again. Some more.
Afterward. David announces he’s quitting the delivery job. Sophie and David kiss. Everyone eats tamales. Fin.
Lifetime-approved summary: David Morales, an Arizona high school principal and single dad, has lost the holiday spirit after also losing his wife a few years ago during the Christmas season. Now, David will do anything to avoid Christmas so he moonlights as a delivery driver during the holidays. But this year David’s 14-year-old daughter, Noel, and his live-in sister, Marissa, are determined to bring the yuletide spirit back to the family and, with a little luck, also help David find love again via online dating. So when Sophie, a witty musician and customer on David’s delivery route, swipes right on him, something magical happens between them.
Actual summary: This is not how music works.
Cast member prestige:
Action:
We open with some basic scene-setting. David Morales, our hero, is busily principalling through the halls of the Arizona high school over which he presides. He pops into the music room, where the school’s bell choir (???) is rehearsing for their upcoming performance at the town’s annual Frosty Fest. David’s daughter Noel plays in the choir and is nervous that they won’t be prepared; the school is too broke to afford a “real music teacher” and the choir is directed by the baseball coach.
Raise your hand if you’ve ever seen a high school with a BELL CHOIR. No -- not you, Catholics, put your hands down.
Across town, our other main character, Sophie, is in town for the holidays to visit her dad. Sophie’s mom passed away a year ago and now her dad wants to sell a bunch of her late mom’s antique Christmas toys online. Sophie is there to help her dad type www.ebay.com.
Why do Sophie and David’s worlds end up colliding? Because David moonlights as a driver for Southwest Secure Delivery, working a second job every year during the holidays to save up money for Noel’s college fund. Sophie schedules a pickup of some packages containing her late mom’s toys to sell, and David is the lucky delivery guy who shows up to get them. When Sophie opens the door, David flirts, trying out a little AC Slater “mama” charm, but Sophie is all business and nopes him on his way.
Back at home, David’s sister Marissa lectures him about how his insistence on working a second job at Christmas means that he is unavailable for his daughter when she needs him most. “When are you going to tell Noel the real reason you take this delivery job?” she asks. “You can’t handle all the sadness you feel during the holidays.” Turns out David’s wife used to love Christmas, and ever since she died years ago, David has been positively grinchy each December.
Noel walks in on this conversation and is upset. Noel and David bond over memories of Noel’s mom, and then Noel encourages her dad to put himself out there and start living again. David is reluctant but eventually agrees, causing Noel to be like “great, cause I basically already put you on Tinder.”
The next day, David picks up more packages from Sophie’s house and she is suddenly more receptive to his charms for some reason, fully checks out his ass as he loads up his truck, and compliments him on his uniform. I don’t know.
Over at the high school, it’s bell choir practice again. Noel, bizarrely and randomly, lobbies their baseball coach/director to let them turn their bell choir into an acapella singing ensemble, because those two things are 100% compatible and this would be a natural and seamless transition for a group of public high school kids without an actual school music program to make. Noel says that “bell choir is great and all,” but an acapella group is what they really need in order to impress at the Frosty Fest.
So. The baseball coach gets some Joy to the World sheet music and now the bell choir is Pentatonix.
Back at home, Noel and Aunt Marissa work on David’s online dating profile. They fret over his profile picture and ultimately choose one in which David is wearing a navy shirt. Noel coos: “He looks good in the navy shirt. Someday when I have a boyfriend, I hope he wears a nice navy shirt like this.” WHAT? Ew. Aunt Marissa looks and nods admiringly, and together they chuckle over the hotness of their blood relative.
David comes home and finds his daughter and sister screaming in celebration. Why? Because David got a match on the dating app. They prep him for a lunch date with his match (“Wear the navy shirt - it makes you glow,” says Marissa, I kid you not) but refuse to show him a photo of the woman he’s meeting.
David waits at the bar for his date to show up, and in walks Sophie! David sees her and is like “I can’t talk; I have a date.” And Sophie’s like “I’m your date. I swiped right on my delivery guy.” She orders them 2 coffees and they sit.
David admits to Sophie that this is his first date and that his daughter signed him up for the app. Sophie says that she’s only using the app here as a dry run before she goes back home to her real life in Phoenix, where she works as a professional French horn player in the Phoenix Philharmonic. They both agree that these circumstances somehow take the pressure off of the situation. They chat and get to know each other, eventually agreeing to “more practice dates” in the future.
It’s bell choir/acapella ensemble practice again, obviously, and David struts in mid-practice to announce a surprise: his new friend Sophie, the professional musician, will lead the bell choir/acapella ensemble while she’s in town. I mean, since literally all musical instruments, styles, and genres are completely interchangeable, why the hell not? David and Sophie work out a concept for the Frosty Fest performance, all “Ok, hear me out: what if they start on bells and then, mid-song, when no one’s expecting it, they just start singing and dancing?” Everyone thinks this is a solid and reasonable plan.
David and Sophie go on another “practice date,” this time to a Mexican restaurant. They have a good time, so much so that David starts to go in for a kiss. Sophie is like “what are you doing - I don't even live here!” They agree there’s a spark between them but that there’s no way it could work. They toast “to practice.”
David then proceeds to go on a string of madcap dates: first, with Melissa Joan Hart, who spills a velvet bag full of crystals onto the bar and asks him if he’s “spiritual,” and then with a ski instructor who does exercises in the middle of the restaurant. You know, as lady athletes always do.
Meanwhile, Noel runs into Sophie at an ice cream shop and the two of them sit and chat. Sophie asks Noel, “Are you ok with your dad dating?” Noel says that no one can replace her mom, but her dad deserves someone to love him as much as her mom did. The two of them bond over lost moms. Noel tells Sophie, “I know my dad likes you, because his dates with you are the only ones he doesn’t tell me about.” Sophie blushes.
Later, David invites Sophie to come over to his house for dinner. Mid-bell choir/acapella ensemble practice. Via a post-it note that he slaps onto the piano WHILE SOPHIE IS PLAYING IT TO ACCOMPANY A ROOM FULL OF STUDENTS INCLUDING HIS DAUGHTER. Inappropriate, AC Slater! But anyway, she comes over that night and helps the family make tamales. David takes Sophie’s hand across the table and says he’s glad she came. They make eyes at each other.
The next day, David goes on one more date via the app, but it’s a bust - and what’s worse, Sophie walks into the restaurant and sees him while he’s on it. When David shows up in delivery garb at Sophie’s house later, she’s cold to him, but he explains that the date she saw him on was “his last date.” He says he’s grown fond of their practice dates. Sophie tells him that there’s no point; her mom’s stuff has all sold and she will be leaving next week. David, stressing, asks her to meet him for one last coffee and a walk after his last delivery in 20 minutes.
They meet up in a park and walk. “I can’t help how I feel when I’m with you,” David says to Sophie. She admits she feels the same, even though she’s leaving. He starts to kiss her but is interrupted by… snow? People: you are allowed to kiss in the presence of precipitation. The two of them gaze up like children as snowflakes fall. But then David realizes it’s 6:00 pm and suddenly bolts, realizing he was supposed to go pick up the bell choir gloves from the dry cleaners after his last delivery. Sophie is left standing there, looking stunned.
David gets to the dry cleaners but they are closed. Oops. Cut to Frosty Fest. It’s 6:30 and the bell choir is in their formal blue robes, waiting on David to show up with their gloves, which they are required to wear in order to handle their antique bells.
I’m sorry, wait, so David and Sophie went for a makeout walk less than an hour before the concert that a) she is supposed to direct and b) his daughter stars in? That’s thirsty, even for lovelorn Lifetimers.
Anyway, David shows up like a chump, late, bearing yellow plastic dishwashing gloves, but they are too big and won’t work. Noel is sad. David apologizes for letting her down, but Noel says it’s ok. “You’re my dad; you can’t let me down.” Thousands of therapy-goers say otherwise, but ok.
Hey, guess what, though? Sophie’s here, and she somehow owns a box full of white gloves! She looks meaningfully at David and says, “If you let someone help you once in awhile you wouldn’t have to do everything all by yourself.”
Concert time! Noel and her group come onstage in their blue robes. The baseball coach (is he the only person on staff?) introduces the performance: “Please enjoy Pine Star’s rendition of Feliz Navidad, dedicated to Noel’s Feliz NaviDAD.” The students start out by playing their bells with the stage lights turned down low, but after a few lines the lights come up, the students rip off their ropes, and now we’re in Pitch Perfect. Noel is in sequins. Another student is in tight leather leggings. They perform a suggestively choreographed dance while singing a radio-quality acapella arrangement, obviously the brainchild of the combined expertise of a French horn player and a high school baseball coach.
They receive a standing ovation. Noel then pulls her dad, Sophie, and Aunt Marissa out from the wings, brings them on stage, and invites them -- and, indeed, the entire audience -- to join them in a slow jam singalong of, what else, Feliz Navidad. Again. Some more.
Afterward. David announces he’s quitting the delivery job. Sophie and David kiss. Everyone eats tamales. Fin.
Rating: 7 of 10 Southwest Secure Delivery Christmas packages for AC Slater, who has Aged Well. Warning for a tenuous grasp on musical reality.
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